I believe that Life (God, the Universe, Life Force, whatever you want to call the Greater Consciousness) gifts each of us with a unique trail of breadcrumbs to show us the life we are meant to live. The life that will tickle our heart and soul in such a unique and splendid way that it fills our heart to completion. Each breadcrumb is a clue to reveal to us what we are meant to do here on earth. The friends we’re supposed to make, the life calling we’re supposed to follow, and the one very special person we’re supposed to meet to be our partner in healing, in creating and in sharing each other’s love.

You can tell when you’ve stumbled upon one of your unique breadcrumbs because you suddenly feel a burst of excitement in your belly and goosebumps on your skin, as if you have stumbled upon a secret that was meant for only you to find.

The breadcrumbs in my life have always pointed in the direction of helping people in an intimate, authentic and heart-felt way. I always had this vision of lifting people up. Actually, for the longest time, I didn’t know what exactly it meant. All I knew was that I wanted to help people believe in themselves again. Today I’ve learned that the meaning is to help people align with their truest, authentic selves. When we align with our truest, most authentic selves life becomes truly fulfilling because we begin to align with people, opportunities and partners who were meant to walk on our path. Including the partner of our dreams.

Relationships have always been a cause of big wounds in my life. I’ve struggled with loneliness, with not belonging, with feeling like the outsider or the “black sheep” in the family or a group of friends.  And because of this, I showed up in relationships as needy, insecure in myself, often doubting who my decisions and my abilities, and anxious to be in big groups or to be separate from my dating partner. I would criticize, judge and shame my partners when they weren’t fully able to fulfill my needs and loved with many conditions. It looked bad on the outside: the poor, whiny, insecure and needy young woman. But on the inside was a little soul so hungry for real presence, real acknowledgement and validation; to be really heard and seen, and to have someone fully in their corner. But I wasn’t in tune with any of these deeper needs. And so I continued for a long time to cause my partners pain through my critical, controlling and needy demeanor. This, with no surprise, created a lot of havoc in my relationships and ultimately lead them all to fail.

It wasn’t until the day I decided I couldn’t let my relationships keep failing. My happiness was on the line. I, like many, worried that I would end up alone because of my own “brokenness” because how could anyone possibly put up with me and my difficult-ness?!

I understood it was my responsibility to work on myself and change these negative patterns. This hunger for the specific kind of love I craved and, equally, the longing for my dream partner to create a life with lead me on a journey to heal my relationship patterns for good.

What I learned is this: the hurt we put onto others is a cry for understanding, love (in the specific ways we wish to be loved) and acceptance of who we are as unique and imperfect beings all trying to do the best they can in life. This cry for the love that we all longed for in our childhoods, but because no parent is nor can be perfect, we didn’t receive which left our hearts hanging in “empty” . This causes many to roam the earth in search to fill this void through external means: other people (relationships), stuff (clothes, cars, fancy vacations), achievements, assets, etc. Oftentimes we aren’t conscious to this internal drive of “looking for happiness”. This causes us to attract all the “wrong” people in our lives who actually are the right ones at the time because they cause us to see our internal wounds very clearly and give us an opportunity to finally heal.

Once I began peeling back the layers to my wounds and healing them at the core level, I began to see shifts taking place in my close relationships with those I loved: friends and family. I began feeling more confident in what I needed, what standards I wanted to hold for my friendships and ultimately my romantic relationships. Universe sent me one person after another to teach me, train me and test me until I was finally ready to meet my soulmate at 33 years old. This is when I met the love of my life, Sergio.

He’s my best friend. My partner in crime. The one I can always count on. This man understands me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. He holds space for me, has such a beautiful willingness and eagerness to work through our challenges together as a team. He makes me laugh like no other (because he’s my kind of weird). He treats me with dignity, respect, care and kindness in a way that I’ve always craved. He is my dream partner.

The thing is… I almost gave up. I almost lost hope. I was this close to calling it quits on love. And that’s the magic. It’s when you finally give up, stop pushing and trying and controlling; when you finally surrender… this is when Love finally comes!

I know the pain of yearning to finally meet your partner and nearly giving up hope. But I’m here to say hold on a bit longer.

The path to the love you really crave is a specific one. it requires you to look at your own stuff and heal. To love and understand yourself first so that you can love and understand the person standing in front of you.

Only when you understand, love and accept yourself whole-heartedly, you can align with the life you’ve always dreamed of. I really, really want this for you. What was once a cause of BIG pain in my life has now turned into my life mission. Inhervision represents helping women look inside for her own healing and for the unique breadcrumbs to her life; a slow unturning and unfolding of the woman you were always meant to be: confident, courageous, joyful, full of passion and an Unstoppable-ness to create the vision of her life.